It's always on my worst day that I am inspired by the floppy blonde crowned creature from Kentucky whose family really does drive around with license plates that say things like "KY Twins" & "KY Mom".
These lovely cotton/ked wearing ladies truly have no idea why I am in peals of laughter at every family wedding as they drive up so proudly in their fancy sedans.... Come on Ladies??? Really?? KY Lubricating Jelly is an international product not a delicacy the Brits serve with crumpets!
You have to have sense of humor to explain the KY relatives and that she does. It also helps that we have known each other for so damn long and bounced the lesbian ping pong ball from friends to lovers and back to friends again. Who else really knows the right shit to say to you to break the funk wall?
We covered the bases... The new love in her life, her subsequent move to a magical State where the oxygen just isn't the same as other places, friends - new, old... come, gone...
As per usual we move on to human dynamics and relationships... human observations...
Fox and I have spent more time together in airports than people ever really need to... However, it is great fodder for people watching and dissecting human interactions.
It also deepens our aging laugh lines.
Somewhere in here the Mechanical Bull theory was born.
You see people that just don't match well - no complimenting each other in any aspect... mental, physical - nothing... These couplings usually depict one person who is somewhat free of spirit and another who is jealous, controlling, angry and bitter…
Shit why wouldn’t they be? We figure you’d have to be when you are hanging on by a fingernail to someone who by all intents and purposes lives in a totally different universe than you do.
These Grecians just experience the world differently. They move and inspire strangers on the street to “feel” something. These are the people we are talking about… the ones that make you turn your head and perform the pound dog screech “RRRRRrrrrrrrrrr” and scratch your head… How did THAT person end up with “THAT” person?
Come On! I know you’ve done it.
What we were trying to figure out is that base anger, the rage of the person hanging on for dear life. Shit, you landed the 747 – go for the ride… Truly!!
The anticipation of losing … of forthcoming rejection seems to be the crux of the problem. You seem mad at the world before you even get off the ride… Shit, Man!!
If you have 6.7 seconds on a Bull named Blue Manchu….
Make it that Mechanical Bull you rode drunk in Mexico….
Your friends gave you a shot of Tequila and dared you to mount that baby… didn’t you go up there knowing you were getting thrown off in front of 200 similarly nutty tourists?
You Hooted and Hollered the whole time… Laughing... Knowing you were taking a hard hit back towards the earths core. My point is, you went with it, you enjoyed it and you made a fool out of yourself.
Let’s assess what happened after you picked yourself up off the matt and re-entered the assembled throng.
The crowd cheered, patted you on the back, all of a sudden everyone in the place wanted to buy you a drink. All those damn tourists snapped your picture and it went into memory albums the world over….
“Oh My God Sheila, There was a mechanical bull in this bar in Mexico… friggin hysterical… this (guy/girl/chick/dude) jumped right up there… it was a blast! I wanted to do it but I lost my nerve at the last second. You know what? Next time we go to Mexico… I’m friggin doing it!”
The Mechanical Bull Theory
You mounted it… hoot, holler and ride that sucker for as long as you can... But when you inevitably come back down to earth… Don’t be mad… Take a picture and remember how much fun it was!
At least you had the balls to get up there in the first place!
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