I think trying to see if your girlfriends parents friends would pay you for sex is quite amusing.... unfortunately my friends now ex-girlfriend didn't think so....Other people may think it was a dick move... I personally think it's comic genius and that's why I love you just the way you are!!!
Some of my favorite conversations recently....
1. " What would it be called if you didn't have sex for 5years but abstinence and celibacy didn't seem to fit as proper words?"
"I think that's what we like to call... a Lesbian Relationship"
2. "You have to love and respect me and if you can't do that then... you have to give me head"
3. "I swear I am going to kill him! I just know he is cheating on me"
"But princess, YOU are cheating on HIM!"
"I know, but he cannot prove it"
4. "I knew she would try to make me look like the dick in this break-up"
"You were TRYING to sleep with her parents friends for money…"
"So? She wouldn't introduce me to her parents… why would she care?"
(different conversation - same topic)
5. "It's not like I would have done it. I just wanted to see how much they would offer me"
"Like, how much are we talking?"
"I figured they'd offer me at least five grand"
"And you wouldn't have done it? What are you crazy? Babe... not for nothing, but...YOU could use five grand".
I confess to groaning and even swearing out loud when I get those ridiculous forwarded e-mails...
"Send this to ten people in ten minutes or you will never have sex again"
Hey people...guess what? I'm probably never going to have sex again anyway so I don't give a shit... keep sending em... my undoubted response will never change... DELETE!!
I got this a couple of days ago; it is almost worth all the crap you have forwarded to me over the years...hoping your phone will ring telling you that you won a million dollars.... Bear in mind, I did say ALMOST....
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
"I know, but he cannot prove it"
4. "I knew she would try to make me look like the dick in this break-up"
"You were TRYING to sleep with her parents friends for money…"
"So? She wouldn't introduce me to her parents… why would she care?"
(different conversation - same topic)
5. "It's not like I would have done it. I just wanted to see how much they would offer me"
"Like, how much are we talking?"
"I figured they'd offer me at least five grand"
"And you wouldn't have done it? What are you crazy? Babe... not for nothing, but...YOU could use five grand".
I confess to groaning and even swearing out loud when I get those ridiculous forwarded e-mails...
"Send this to ten people in ten minutes or you will never have sex again"
Hey people...guess what? I'm probably never going to have sex again anyway so I don't give a shit... keep sending em... my undoubted response will never change... DELETE!!
I got this a couple of days ago; it is almost worth all the crap you have forwarded to me over the years...hoping your phone will ring telling you that you won a million dollars.... Bear in mind, I did say ALMOST....
THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing
And that my lovlies... is it for me, since I have to get up at the crack ass of 5am.... Good Night!
xoxox
And that my lovlies... is it for me, since I have to get up at the crack ass of 5am.... Good Night!
xoxox
Posts
Maybe you will want to place a twitter button to your site. I just marked down this url, although I must complete this by hand. Just my $.02 :)
ReplyDelete