Played Like a Violin

Monday, August 04, 2008


You know, I never was a fan of classical music yet there was time in my life when I filled my home with it – LOUD – stereo blasting….

Why did I do that? Oh yeah it was about a girl… that was the last time I tried to be a different version of me – the version she would like better… Yeah – that didn't work out so well either.

The best feeling in the world … unequivocally, the greatest feeling in the world is when the loving ranks close in. (The militia!)

I have been:

Questioned
Talked to
Yelled at
Counseled
Advised
Reminded
Listened to
Loved
And accepted

I imagine this happens in close knit families with mucho siblings – when the family closes in and forces you to see – that all around you is a soft place to fall.

Pushing back… my defensiveness kicks in … my response??

"If you're not falling… You're not trying" , and no one can accuse me of that.

My commitment to myself to living powerfully and living a life I love...... I am my word - Integrity, Being Powerful, Having Courage, Being Charismatic, Giving up the never ending need to be right, Affecting others so that they are left touched, moved and inspired. I am creating my own experience.

Heather and I had this intense exchange earlier this Summer….. while we were playing dutiful femmes watching Kelly Nelen at softball practice – how cliché!!!

The List! What do you like? Do you even know who you are anymore? Well I did write a partial list when I got home… so from sitting on a windowsill or no-one has our backs… I think so far that was my absolute favorite day of 2008…tears, laughter and the sharing of ourselves. It is a true gift to have that one friend that can in a second become an exact mirror of who you are – looking right back at you… and it's eye opening!


This is kind of for Heather – who I just know always has my back and I give my word that I too always have yours….


Things I Like

Singing in the Car
Dogs
Children
The idea of one day becoming someone's mother
Good Friends
Suggs, Madness – The Nutty Boys
Lou Vega
Suzanne Vega
Buddy Holly
Rock and Roll
Tom Jones
Meatloaf
Jim Croce
Abba
The Housemartins
Home projects
Building Shit
Roller Blading
Boats – all of them from the most powerful to a home made tom sawyer raft
Walking around beach towns
Holding hands
Sunshine
Good clean design
Pretending to be a hairdresser
Making people laugh
Being outrageous
Indian food
Japanese food
Messy teas
Picnics from around the world – to touch your heart
Crying at sappy movies
ROAD TRIPS
Entertaining friends in my home
People confiding in me
Feeling trusted
Telling stories
Massage
The Four Seasons
Pedicures
Spas
VEGAS
Broadway Shows
The Dueling Piano's
Oprah
Amusement parks
Zoo's
Reading Crime Novels
Watching shows about gruesome serial killers
Watching: Suppernanny, wife swap,20/20, dateline, court tv. Dr phil, british sitcoms, John Edwards crossing over, old school music videos
Chris Rock
Lewis Black
Trucks
Pick-ups
4 wheel drives
V.W. Bugs
The idea of owning a convertible – but not the reality
Shoes
Eurotrash Fashions
Turning Heads
Feeling Sexy, Glamorous, Beautiful
Summer Rainstorms
The beach at night
Getting wet
Skinny dipping
Falling in Love
Busting Balls
Attention
My own space
Silence to think
Long drawn out conversations
Being Rowdy
Mudslides
Frozen Drinks
Scotch on the Rocks in big snifter filled to the brim with ice
Body Shots
Spin the Bottle
Truth or Dare
Hot Sweaty Sex in a dark room
Writing erotica
Writing – plays, poetry, stories… just writing for the hell of it – for me
Heated debates
Asking the devils advocate question
People saying… "I can't believe you just said that"
Pushing the envelope
Making Money
Honesty
Playing Cards
Making up games to play in the pool
Lying in bed, telling stories, laughing,
Playing with her hair
Touching her face
Magic Ipod
Brussel Sprouts
Being afraid and then doing it anyway
Butterflies in my belly
Trusting someone implicitly
Fucking till the sun comes up
Feeling 'Known"
Text messaging
Being Spontaneous
Finding that perfect – most thoughtful gift
Doing what I said I would do
Hanging upside down from the point street bridge in my underwear – because I always said I would do it
The Big Blue Bug
The Fleet Building with the train car
The Flat Iron Building
NYC
Greece
Passionate shouting matches that end in laughter
Getting shit done
Being mad
Being cajoled into no longer pouting
Bubble baths
Hand puppets
Old jokes that aren't funny any more
Dancing
Kissing in the rain
People watching
Making plans
Writing lists
Passion
Being told the truth – no matter what
Loyalty
People who realize the dichotomy of the fragility and strength of a person's heart


Turning the page - to start the next chapter


And I Wouldn't Change a Thing....



Currently listening : You Don't Mess Around With Jim Release date: 2006-07-04