1/2 Year

Friday, June 16, 2006


Is it just me?? It seems that at New Year you kinda think about the upcoming year with excitement and then by June - you check in and see if you were close or way the heck off?

As Big Ben chimed I was grieving & celebrating the life of my grandmother... I use the word grandmother in a loose term - I'm thinking more Liz Taylor - minus 3 of the husbands (weren't they repeats anyway?).... than granny who would knit you sweater or send you money in a card...

"Won't you just call me Kate? My friends don't need to know I'm a grandma". For a woman who was so emotionally distant - she was an icon. I don't think she ever knew she was a role model or the impact she had on my life... her eldest surviving grandchild.

She just did shit. She didn't wait around. She just created this amazing life for herself with nothing really. She always had a man and a line of suitors waiting for the opportunity to lay the world at her feet. Respectful wealthy gentlemen also living the Costa Del Sol Lifestyle back when it was glamorous.

So here I am trying to follow in the footsteps of these avant-garde, entrepreneurial women - this line of unique strong females that started way before my grandmother was even thought of... My link will be a small one in this woven tale. Mine will be the tale of a young woman who came to America with an army bag of clothes and $200.00 - However, should I have daughters... they will be the ones to do great things - they will change the world - they will make their own contribution.

So June is checking in with me.... I wanted to build a house this year and start a family... those were my two overriding dreams at 35yrs of age as the clocks turned from 2005 to 2006.
I'm not quite on target for a build this year - but I am moving in the next couple of weeks to a lovely little house on 24 acres of sub dividable land. The nervous feeling in my stomach is a mixture of disbelief and excitement.

The ball is in motion on my family plans - I have finally made the decision to throw caution to the wind and try my hand at being a single Mom. Big decision, not exactly what I had envisioned - but there has been so much encouragement from so many directions... so whatever happens I know that there is more than just me in this.

I made some friends, lost some friends and reconnected with some older friends. It's been a heck of a whirlwind so far!

I knew 2006 was gonna be one of those years - Grandma really passed the torch on... I guess I just wish she was around to hear about it - I know she was always amazed that I had such balls to jump into action, I wonder if she knew that I got them from her ... only hers were MUCH bigger!

So, here I am - sitting waiting for the moving POD to arrive... I feel sad, happy, nervous and excited.. Oh and a little bit nauseous... it's a milkshake of emotions....

In a recent conversation with an old friend - we both agreed... it's the things in life -you don't do- that you regret.

So, with no regrets... I'm off to pack a few more boxes.

No Day But Today!



Currently listening : Rent (2005 Movie Soundtrack) By Jonathan Larson Release date: 27 September, 2005